The Art of Playing Catch™: Turning Conflict into Collaboration with Interest-Based Negotiation
Do you want to be a better negotiator? Picture this: You’re on a playground, tossing a ball back and forth with a friend. There’s rhythm, understanding, and even a bit of joy in the exchange. Now imagine that same scene, but instead of tossing the ball, you’re both pulling on it as hard as you can, each trying to wrench it away from the other. Not much fun, right?
Negotiations often feel like stepping onto a battlefield, where each side digs trenches and prepares for a long, gruelling fight. But they don’t have to. Traditional, adversarial negotiation is like an exhausting game of tug-of-war, with each side pulling relentlessly to “win” while relationships fray. In contrast, interest-based negotiation feels more like playing catch: a dynamic, collaborative exchange that creates value for everyone. The payoff? Stronger connections, fresh ideas, and solutions that don’t just survive but thrive over time.
The Tug-of-War: Adversarial Negotiation
Let’s start with the tug-of-war approach. Adversarial negotiation focuses on positions: what each party demands as their starting point. It’s competitive by nature, with parties aiming to maximize their gain—often at the expense of the other side. While this method can work in some scenarios (think haggling at a flea market), it’s often counterproductive in business settings, where long-term relationships and shared goals matter.
Take a classic corporate example: A supplier and a retailer negotiating over pricing. The supplier insists on a 10% price increase, citing rising production costs. The retailer counters with a demand for a 5% price reduction, arguing that market pressures make it impossible to pass costs onto consumers. Neither side budges, and the relationship deteriorates. Sound familiar?
The Game of Catch: Interest-Based Negotiation
Now, let’s rewrite the story with an interest-based approach. Instead of digging in their heels, the supplier and retailer start by identifying their underlying interests. The supplier explains their need to cover rising production costs and sustain quality. The retailer shares their interest in competitive pricing to maintain customer loyalty.
With interests on the table, they explore creative solutions. Could they collaborate on a new product line with higher margins? Could they adjust payment terms to ease short-term financial strain? Could they co-invest in marketing to boost sales? By focusing on interests rather than positions, they find a solution that works for both parties—and strengthens their partnership.
Why Interest-Based Negotiation Works
- It Builds Trust: When parties work collaboratively, they demonstrate a commitment to mutual success. This fosters trust and lays the groundwork for future partnerships.
- It Generates Creative Solutions: By focusing on interests, negotiators can think beyond zero-sum outcomes and uncover opportunities for mutual gain.
- It Reduces Conflict: Separating people from the problem—a core principle of interest-based negotiation—helps keep emotions in check and conversations constructive.
This method helps you be a better negotiator and aligns beautifully with Optimé International’s approach to selling. Our TECHNIQUE DU RECEVEUR methodology emphasizes dialogue, collaboration, and understanding the customer’s needs to create win-win outcomes. Just as in interest-based negotiation, the goal isn’t to “sell at all costs” but to create genuine value—building trust and loyalty in the process.1
From Theory to Practice
Want to be a better negotiator and bring interest-based negotiation into your world? Here are some practical tips:
- Ask Questions and Listen: Instead of assuming you know the other party’s priorities, ask open-ended questions to uncover their true interests.
- Be Transparent About Your Interests: Openly share your goals and constraints. This invites reciprocity and fosters trust.
- Brainstorm Together: Treat the negotiation as a joint problem-solving exercise. Could you generate multiple options before narrowing in on a solution?
- Use Objective Criteria: When evaluating options, use data and standards to guide decision-making. This reduces bias and emotional friction.
The Bottom Line
Negotiation doesn’t have to be a battlefield. By shifting from adversarial tactics to an interest-based approach, you’re not just “playing nice”—you’re playing smart. Whether you’re selling a product, managing a partnership, or resolving a workplace dispute, the principles of interest-based negotiation can help you be a better negotiator and achieve better outcomes while preserving relationships. And just like TECHNIQUE DU RECEVEUR, it’s a lot more enjoyable—and productive—when everyone’s on the same team.
Written By: Marty Blake, Partner and Chief Operating Officer at Optimé International
Good Luck, and Good Selling!
At Optimé International we work with many of the greatest sales organizations in the world, big and small, helping them achieve and exceed their performance goals. If you would like to learn more about our passion for the sales profession and to make a difference, we’d love to chat with you, maybe over a coffee, virtual or IRL! Click here: Connect with Optimé for a coffee!
